I am a flaming extrovert.

At our church we have that time in the service where people (extroverts) get to walk around shaking hands while others (introverts) are trying to see if they will fit under the pew. I actually have a friend who LOATHES this part of our worship and he will never join the church because it requires that he stand in front of the congregation.

While I may never think like an introvert, I have a responsibility to grow in my understanding of the entire smorgasbord of personalities found in the church. Below is a lesson I have been learning over the years:

The Lesson-

I have a deep conviction that everyone who enters the church doors should be known, welcomed and connected. Sounds pretty harmless right? My church is fairly large and I’m realizing that many people come to a church like ours so they can blend in or even hide for a little while. These folks are not looking to be known and plugged in, at least not yet. Is this ok? Are we as the church ok if people just hide out for a season? I have come to believe this is healthy. The more stories I hear, the more I recognize the amount of wounded and tired saints who just need a breather. I am wired to always ask, “When can we start?” and “What’s next?”, so I have frequently flown by the hiders in my midst. These hiders are often seekers and peekers who are just going at a slower pace.

“A right time to embrace and another to part.” – Ecclesiastes 3 MSG

What do you think it took for David to write these words?

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
-Psalm 139

This is a dangerous prayer! I’m pretty sure David didn’t just recite this one over a bowl of soup. At this point, he was constantly being attacked by his enemies and this was his response? Again I ask the question, “What about David allowed him to pen one of the most transparent prayers in scripture?

I pushed one of my students. Once.

I was a 22-year-old youth minister full of energy and empty on discretion.  One of my older high school students was driving me nuts at a gathering we were having on the beach. He kept saying how lame the event was and murmuring under his breath. Eventually, I turned around and pushed this kid with all my might, landing on top of him in the sand. As my nose touched his nose I said I screamed some French at him.

A. Not smart
B. Glad I knew his parents well
C. Probably should have been fired.
D. Twelve years later and I still talk to this “kid” all the time.

Did you think this post was going to be about motivating kids or physically pushing them? I am actually interested in how we motivate students, knowing that our ways of motivating can be as painful as physically pushing a student. In ministry we are called to help people “get from here to there” and they way we do this can be make or break.

Why Push? What is the motivation behind your attempts to push students? Lets be honest, there are times when we as youth workers are so wrapped up in our own causes that our motivation is really about us. We fall trap to thinking good attendance means we are good and bad attendance means we are losers. This loss of identity can often drive us to hassle students about attendance to our events. Most of us are guilty so go ahead and pause for a few minutes with me to confess……..Amen.

On the flip side, as I have become more clear about my motivation for pushing, I have become less “pushy.” There are 3 statements that guide my interactions with all students and they keep my motivations pure.

1. 1 John 4:19, we love because He first loved us. So in short, I am just responding to students out of the love God has first shown me. This takes some pressure off youth workers because it keeps us from acting as if we are the Messiah. It also serves as a continual reminder of our first love that is anchored in Christ.

2. Meet students where they are and help them know, live and love like Jesus. I generally hate vision/mission statements, but this is one I live by. As I interact with students, the first part of the statement reminds me that we are all over the map when it comes to the spiritual journey. We are to love them right where they are and not where thy “should” be. The second part of the statement is where some encouraging pushes are needed. Living like Jesus is uncomfortable, awkward and costly. I am a 34-year-old youth pastor and I need pushed in this area.

3. Worship +2- There is no perfect equation to the Christian life, but Worship Plus 2 has been helpful in encouraging students as they grow in their faith in Christ. Simply put, we encourage our leaders and students to be in weekly corporate worship. We believe that there is great power when the Body of Christ worships together. The “Plus 2” represents a place where you are soaking in and the other is where you are being wrung out. Oswald Chambers mobilizes discipleship in saying, “if we believe in Jesus, it’s not what we gain that counts, but what He pours through us that really counts. God’s purpose is not simply to make us beautiful plump grapes, but to make us grapes that He may squeeze the sweetness out of us.”

Basically I want to provide or help plug students into places where they are learning about God and serving His people. I do and will push students in this way. Yet I do believe a student can be pushed too much and they can be in too many church activities. There are times when we need to encourage students to laugh more, study harder, spend more time with their family, learn an instrument and even take a nap. 

How do you push students?
(FYI, the reason I blog is to dialogue so leave a comment to get the discussion rolling)